Ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.
1. Fear ALLAH: It was the noble practice of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) to make aware the spouses about the fear for ALLAH before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of ALLAH). The spouses will be first committed to ALLAH before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of ALLAH.
2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to the Blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and sought some advice. The blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) replied-"control your anger". The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat)
3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: The blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: "Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah." (Ibid pg.412)
4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Prophet Luqman (Alaihis salam) while offering advice to his son said: "and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey"- (Surah Luqman v19)
5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: the blessed Prophet Muhamamd (Peace be upon him) said-"A Mu'min is a mirror for a Mu'min."(Abu Dawud) Advise with dignity and silently.
6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: The Blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: "Whoever conceals the faults of others, ALLAH shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah."(Mishkaat)
7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: the blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [Radi ALLAHu ta'aala anhu] for neglecting his wife. "Verily there is a right of your wife over you" (Nasai Hadith)
8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Hadrat Abu Bakr [Radi ALLAHu ta'aala anhu] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith)
9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: The blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said-"Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to ALLAH."(Abu Dawud)
10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: The blessed Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)said-"All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness."(Tirmidhi Hadith)